


How long does forever last?

by tommyhilfiger



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:01:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24127837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tommyhilfiger/pseuds/tommyhilfiger
Summary: Set after the 7x10 kiss, instead of Harvey asking Paula to move in with him, he asks her to marry him. How will this change the relationship between Donna and Harvey, will they ever find their way back to one another.
Relationships: Donna Paulsen/Harvey Specter
Kudos: 5





	1. Spontaneity

Harvey can't quite comprehend the events of tonight, so he decided to walk home to clear his head.

Part of him felt dread settling at the bottom of his stomach, but the majority of him felt anger. Of all the people, she should know what this would do to him.

As the cool air of the night brushes past his face as he walks, his mind replays the moment over and over again. When _Donna kissed him._ The worst part is that she left straight after, and he was too stunned and stuck in his place to move quick enough and chase her.

The dread Harvey feels, on becoming the one thing he vowed to never become. Donna didn't give him a choice on that, she forced him to become this thing, and Harvey thinks she is selfish. He feels angry that this is now something he's got to keep a secret from Paula, his girlfriend, and the only woman who should be kissing him.

What Harvey struggles to come to terms with the most, is the anger he feels at himself. For what the kiss _did_ to him, inside. It stirred something and part of him doesn't know if he could have pulled himself away if Donna wasn't the one to break the kiss. He could have spiralled into temptation. He _hates_ himself for that.

The thought of her lips against his, stirs part of him he is too ashamed to admit. He can still feel where her hands rested around his neck, the way their noshes brushed and how her fingers caressed his cheek. Harvey pushes these thoughts away as quick as they entered his head. He cannot feel this way about sharing a kiss with another woman, he cares about Paula.

Of course him and Donna have had this potential, but why would he want to risk the relationship they had. It would never work, and now she's pushed them over the edge, Harvey thinks that they can never go back.

With a heavy heart and a mix of guilt and anger cursing through his veins, he makes his way into his condo. All he needs is to crawl into bed and try and forget all about tonight.

However, Harvey soon realises this is not on the cards when he notices a few lights on, and eventually Paula sitting on his sofa. His stomach drops at the sight of her, he feels dirty with guilt.

"Hey you", she smiles on seeing him.

When he doesn't immediately reply, she furrows her brows and stands up to greet him, sensing something off.

"Are you okay?", she asks tentatively.

Clearing his throat, he quickly adds, "Yeah I'm okay, I just didn't expect to see you". The last thing he needs is for Paula to sense that something is wrong, and find out about the kiss.

"You did give me your key you know", she adds with a teasing smile.

Harvey feels lighter already on seeing her. So he smiles and leans in for a slow and sensual kiss, he hopes to rid the taste of Donna from his lips and replace them with his girlfriend.

As they pull apart, Harvey smiles and grabs her hands. He doesn't know if it's because he wants to seal Donna outside of his relationship, or because Paula made him feel better within a matter of seconds and he almost forgot about what happened.

"Marry me", the words are out of his mouth before he can fully comprehend them.

Paula stiffens immediately. Her face then breaks out into a small smile and she laughs nervously. "Harvey, don't be silly".

"I just don't want you to have my key, I want to know that when I come home, it's going to be like this forever".

Harvey feels content with Paula in this moment, he has forgotten about his 'dirty' feelings about Donna's kiss, and subconsciously this way it makes up for the guilt he feels.

When Paula still hasn't said anything, he adds, "you made it feel like the world didn't matter within 30 seconds".

"Harvey, I don't want to rush things, I really like you and where this is heading", Paula says softly.

"Paula, I've had a bad day at work, and you were the one person I wanted to see after it".

Maybe that's because the other person is not an option because it's her that's caused the bad day.

"Now I've never been married, but I think that's how a wife should make you feel", he lets a smirk settle on his lips.

"Let's be spontaneous, I can even take the rest of the week off of work"

He can almost see the cogs turning in her head, before a smile breaks out on her face and she's pulling him in for a deep kiss. Harvey is quick to deepen it, desperate to remove the thoughts of Donna and replace with his now, fiancée.

Harvey doesn't allow himself to fully consider the idea, he refuses to entertain that this may be a mistake. After basically cheating on his girlfriend and feeling something for this other woman, this is the right thing to do to make up for it.

So Harvey sticks to his plan of taking the rest of the week off of work, only letting Louis and Mike know he won't be in the office until Monday morning. He doesn't tell them why or what he is doing. Harvey tells himself its because he wants it to be a surprise, and not because they may talk him out of it.

.  
.

When Donna wakes up the following morning after her kiss with Harvey the night before, it's early. Early because she barely slept. The kiss solidified so many things for her, deep down she knew her feelings for Harvey ran deep, but now she knows they embody her.

Her stomach churns at the thought of how this affected Harvey. She knows he is with Paula, and it perhaps wasn't the right thing to do for him. But for once, she needed to do this for herself. And if this is what it takes for Harvey to see her for what they could really be for each other, then so be it. It was spontaneous, but she doesn't regret it.

After drowning in her thoughts for too long, she pulls herself out of bed, puts on her Donna face and gets ready for the day. She picks out her satin green dress, and puts every effort into her appearance. This could be a day to change everything, and she needed to be her usual confident self.

On entering the firm, she senses that Harvey hasn't arrived yet. So she decided to crack on immediately with her work and deal with him when he does arrive. An anxious and unsettled feeling briefly curses through her body, but she chooses to ignore it.

It's after an hour or so, when Mike is knocking on Donna's office. Motioning him to come in she can see his almost nervous expression.

"What can I do for you Mike?", she asks, smiling and trying to act calm.

"I just wanted to ask if you knew why Harvey was taking the rest of the week off? He wouldn't say why", Mike asks after taking a seat opposite.

Donna's stomach drops at his words. Taking the week off? Was this to avoid her? Has she really messed this up in the worst way possible. Can he really not face her after everything they have been through.

On Donna's silence and noticeably shocked expression, Mike adds, "You didn't know?".

She feels hurt, maybe she should have expected this. Biting on her bottom lip, feeling the first prickle of tears in her eyes, Donna slowly shakes her head.

"What happened Donna?", Mike asks softly.

Donna considers telling him about the kiss. He was the one who told her she should tell Harvey how she feels. But she feels stupid now. Harvey obviously didn't feel anything from the kiss, so much so that he couldn't even face her to tell her himself. Always running from his problems like the coward he is, Donna thinks.

Realising that Mike is waiting for an answer, she sits up straight, takes a breath and smiles her best 'I'm okay' smile.

"I don't know Mike, maybe he was just a bit exhausted because of his new role".

"But Harvey doesn't take vacations", Mike says pointedly.

She knows that Mike knows there is more to this story, and she is begging him with her eyes to drop it. He doesn't get the hint.

"Donna, tell me what happened, I know you know where he is", he asks.

Donna sighs with frustration now. "Mike, I am _not_ Harvey's keeper. I am _not_ his secretary anymore. So I don't know where he is, now stop asking me!". She knows that she is projecting her hurt and anger onto Mike, and she feels guilty. But she can't bring herself to tell him about the kiss, she is embarrassed.

Taken aback, Mike raises his eyebrows, "Okay Donna. Sorry to bother you", he says with annoyance laced in his tone.

She watches as he stands up and leaves her office. She spins her chair around to face the glass window, which is better than facing the entire firm through her glass walls. That's when she lets the first tear slip from her eye, the one she told herself she would not let happen.

Donna is deflated. At the fact that Harvey does everything in his power to avoid his problems, even when they're to do with her. At the fact that he is now leaving the firm in a ditch and she can't even admit to her closest friends what happened between them. But most of all, at the fact that she is in love with a man who has had her heart for over 12 years, she finally knows it, but also she finally knows that he doesn't feel the same.

.  
.

Donna spends the day avoiding everyone at all costs. She cannot deal with being asked or told about Harvey again.

When it reaches 7pm, Donna gives up on work and tells herself she will do the rest tomorrow. She feels exhausted, emotionally and physically.

Sighing, she pours herself a drink and just sits. No music. No company, just her and her thoughts swimming around.

She's swirling the alcohol around in her glass when she's interrupted from her thoughts by a knock on her door. Louis walks in.

"Hey, I don't think I've ever seen you drinking on your own before", Louis says.

"Yeah, well I needed one", she said and regrets the harshness of her tone.

He hovers for a moment and she eyes him trying to read what's going on. His eyes carry a sympathetic look, and she feels exposed.

"Donna I need to tell you something", he says softly.

Donna can already tell that it's to do with Harvey, when is it ever not. Sighing, not knowing how her emotions can take anything else. "What is it Louis", she asks.

"So Harvey finally got back to me about 15 minutes ago", he says, treading carefully.

"And?", she's nervous now.

"Well, he's taking the weekend to go on his honeymoon".

Oh my god Donna thinks. Her mind is in overdrive, she knows what this implies, but she needs him to say it. The beating of her heart in her chest is so loud that she thinks Louis might be able to hear it.

"Honeymoon?", she croaks.

"Harvey and Paula got married today Donna", Louis sighs.


	2. Confrontation

Truth be told, Harvey has enjoyed his long weekend very much. He has never taken time off of work to spend with a woman. This was a first. Also a first of making this woman his wife. He has barely thought of the redhead sitting in the office next to his, how she kissed him causing him to spiral into self-hatred and confusion.

That was until Monday morning came around, and it was time for him to go back to work. He had been in a bubble these past six days with Paula, and he felt different. But now, he worried about walking through those firm doors and nothing having changed there. If Harvey was honest with himself, which was rare, he was terrified of seeing Donna.

Harvey had given up on sleep just after 5am when he slipped out of bed and went into the kitchen to make a coffee, his mind was trying to figure out how he was to approach his day. With his 'family' as he so often called them, how would he explain the reasons for his marriage. He thought back to his days with Paula. She had asked him if he had told his 'colleagues'. Harvey knew who she meant by 'colleagues', she was not daft, she knew all about his relationship with Donna. Except for that kiss. He had told her of course he had told them, and that they all sent their congratulations. She hadn't pressed it any further. Harvey was glad, he genuinely wanted to make this work with Paula, and he didn't want to see her hurt.

Still. Donna was now on his mind. She may have been the only person from work to not send a text to congratulate him. He can't pretend that he doesn't understand. Mike had tried calling a few times but Harvey let it ring to voicemail each time. He told himself it is because he wants to talk in person. So he sent a light-hearted text telling him to quit harassing him when he's on his mini honeymoon.

Harvey was thinking about going on a run just as Paula appeared in the door, looking very sleepy.

"Hey, I'm sorry if I woke you. I just wanted to get an early start before my first day back", Harvey says.

"How do you feel about going back?", She asks.

"Good. You know I love what I do".

"Are you nervous about seeing everyone? You know after springing this upon them", she smiles, lifting her left hand up which sports her wedding ring.

"Nervous? No, not that, just looking forwards to telling them all abou-"

"How about seeing Donna?", she asks before he can finish.

Harvey tries not to react with his face, but he is afraid that she can see right through him.

"Why would I be worried about seeing Donna?", he asks. But he knows that's exactly what he is worried about.

"Well you're close friends, do you think she will be disappointed that she didn't know you were doing this?"

"Maybe. I'm sure she will be happy for us though", Harvey feels nervous under Paula's gaze

"Has she not got into contact?", she asks pointedly.

"Oh. Of course she has", it's a lie.

"I just mean in person, she will be happy as well", another lie.

Paula eyes him carefully, then allows a small smile to spread on her face. Harvey thinks she is going to drop the subject now, thankfully. He walks forwards until he's facing her and catches her lips in a quick kiss.

"Now, I'm going to go on a quick run, and you can go back to bed for a while", Harvey smiles.

.

.

Donna has had better mornings. Hell, she has had better weeks. Going from the kiss, rediscovering her feelings, Harvey leaving and getting married, to now him returning and her having to act like everything is okay.

After Louis broke the news to her last week, Donna was numb. She can't even remember how she got Louis to leave her alone, but she felt like she might've thrown up.

Eventually after a couple sleepless nights and awful days at the office, Rachel convinced her, well you could say forced, to go out for some drinks. Donna stayed composed during drinks one to three, talking about everything and anything that wasn't Harvey Specter. But after drink number four when Rachel looked her in the eye and truly asked how she was, she started to cry.

She hated it. She hated how broken she was. She hated the looks of pity Rachel was giving her as she tried to comfort her. She hated that she couldn't even use the excuse of being drunk, for why the tears wouldn't stop falling because this is what had happened every single night since she found out. Most of all, she hated that she didn't even feel like herself anymore.

Now, she has to face him, has to see a ring sitting on his left hand. How on Earth is she to cope.

When Harvey arrives at the firm, he walks straight into his office. Only to see Louis, Mike and Rachel already in there. There is a bottle of champagne laid out on a standing table with a banner saying 'Congratulations' hanging on the edge.

"Congratulations!", they shout in unison.

Harvey smiles and lets out a chuckle, "thank you guys".

"Well since you never told us, so we couldn't throw you a real celebration, or even share it with you. This will have to do", Mike says, and Harvey chooses to ignore his questioning gaze.

"What can I say, spur of the moment thing", Harvey shrugs.

"How romantic", Rachel adds, the hint of sarcasm doesn't go unnoticed by anyone in the room, as a brief silence falls upon them all.

Harvey stares at Rachel, seeking answers. He wishes he could ask about her. Breaking his gaze with Rachel, whilst the men open up the champagne, Mike says "one won't hurt this early in the day".

Harvey is grateful for Mike and Louis doing this, it makes coming back easier. He has only been gone for six days, but it feels like forever. A lot has changed in his life, including this, because she's not there. Well, she is there, but not with him, not anymore. He is still coming to terms with the anger he feels at Donna, for what she did.

After everyone finishes their drinks, they leave Harvey to catch up on work. But Mike is quick to pop back in.

"Hey, do you want to grab a drink just the two of us later?", Mike asks.

"That would be nice Mike, but not tonight. Maybe tomorrow is better. Think I should get home at a semi-reasonable time on my first day back at work", Harvey breathes out a laugh.

"Yeah, get back to the wife", Mike smiles and Harvey knows him well enough to know that he is testing the waters.

Harvey's stomach does a unsettled churn as the reference to Paula as his 'wife'. In truth Mike had wanted to see Harvey's reaction, and he got what he needed by seeing the unreadable expression flash across his face. Harvey just smiles and nods. Mike leaves him be, for now.

.

.

It's hours into the day later when Donna finds herself doing some copies in the file room. Up until now she had successfully avoided seeing Harvey, even though she knew it was inevitable that they would run into each other at some point. She was his COO. She knows they had a small congratulations meeting this morning, but Donna had politely declined. For obvious reasons.

When she hears someone approaching her, she doesn't even have to look up to know its him. Her stomach is in knots, but she focuses on keeping her composure and continuing her task.

"Hey", Harvey says, he is standing a few feet away from her.

"Harvey", she replies, not looking up at him.

"Nice of you to join us this morning", he says bitterly.

That's when she snaps her head up to look at him. Her eyes scan his face, and eventually she eyes his left hand, seeing the gold band on his fourth finger.

"I'm not doing this now Harvey", she says.

"No text neither?", he pushes.

She begins to collect all of her papers up, puts them into a pile, and firmly states "not now, Harvey", before walking out. He doesn't follow. He never does.

Donna tries to get her breathing in control as she walks down the hallways of the firm, desperate to get into the safety of her own office. Seeing Harvey's face, and that goddamn ring, was a slap in the face. Plus the fact that the two of them can't have an adult conversation about everything that has happened between them. She feels so infuriated.

All she needs to do now, is to sit for a while and gather her thoughts. She needs to calm down. 

.  
.

However, after another hour has passed, Donna has done nothing more than get herself worked up. She can't ignore it any longer, so she pushes herself up from her desk, and walks with purpose over to Harvey's office.

Harvey hears her before he sees her. Everyone is starting to go home now, as it nears 8pm. And he knows them heels. Before he knows it, Donna is walking into his office.

"I thought you didn't want to speak about this?", Harvey quips with annoyance.

"Oh no. I said I didn't want to do this then. But then is not now, and we are having this conversation right now", Donna all but shouts and she can feel her hands shaking.

"What do you want me to say Donna?", Harvey shrugs, standing up so he can face her.

"Why can't you just address things directly Harvey? We are meant to be adults, who can have a conversation!", frustration is evident in Donna's tone.

"Fine. You kissed me, and it was the most selfish thing you've ever done", Harvey spits.

Taken aback by his harsh tone, Donna gapes at him, "Selfish? You mean I actually put myself above you for once?".

"Why did you do it Donna?"

"I told you, I had to know", she states folding her arms over her chest.

"Know what?", Harvey almost laughs as he flails his arms out. He adds, "Our lines have been perfectly clear for a long time, we're friends!".

"Harvey, our lines are as blurry as lines can get", Donna deadpans, she can feel the prickling of tears in her eyes.

Harvey remains silent for a moment. He feels himself getting more irritated at her words, just because they flirt, it does not give her the right to kiss him.

"Well, you know what. You made me into the one thing I never wanted to be", Harvey speaks, he can feel the pain and guilt resurfacing as they stare into each other's eyes.

Donna sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose, she can feel the tears forming in her eyes. "Harvey, listen I kissed you, yes. But you didn't do anything". Donna feels a sense of guilt at this.

Whilst Harvey hears her words, the guilt is embedded in him. He knows the potential that he could've done, if she wasn't the one to break the kiss. That is what is haunting him. Rather than voice this to the woman in front of him, he continues with the blame game.

"Well it doesn't feel like that. I had to lie to Paula about all this".

"No you didn't Harvey. If it didn't affect you, you need to tell her. Now you're married", Donna's emphasis on 'married', fuels Harvey on.

"Yes married Donna. I had to do goddamn something!", he shouts.

"You didn't have to marry her Harvey!", Donna's voice breaks, and a single tear falls from her eye. This is the first moment that they both fall silent and just stare at one another. Hearing her say this strikes deep within Harvey, she has always been his compass. Now he questions that.

"Donna-"

"No!", Donna cuts him off before he can say anymore. "If we're the friends that you say we are. I can tell you this. As a friend. I am only going to say it once".

Donna purses her lips together. "I think you've made a terrible mistake marrying Paula". She decides that this is the point where she should leave. So she turns on her heel and makes her way to the door.

"Yeah? Well, as far as I'm concerned Donna. Your judgement sucks", Harvey spits.

Donna comes to a halt at his words. She considers turning around, but she's can't do it. Not tonight. Too much has already been said. So she wipes the fallen tears from her eyes, and walks out of Harvey's office, without a look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, all reviews are welcome!


	3. Friends

"Mike, if you've got something to say. Just say it", Harvey says. Him and Mike are in some bar having the drinks that Mike suggested they have. However, Mike's persistent staring with no conversation is doing nothing but wind Harvey up.

Mike opens his mouth to speak, but shuts it. He is clearly struggling with what to say. All he wants to do is ask why Mr No Commitment got impulsively married to a woman he has not been seeing for long. He also knows that Harvey struggles to have conversations of a deep nature without flying off of the handle.

"Maybe start from the beginning", Mike asks cautiously.

Harvey sits back, taking a swig of his scotch. "It was spontaneous, I decided I wanted to marry my girlfriend. You didn't see me acting like this when you asked Rachel to marry you".

"Well. I'm just-". Mike sighs. "Listen Harvey, I've known you a long time. This isn't something you would do". Harvey focuses his gaze on his drink, not meeting Mike's eyes. "I just want to make sure everything is okay".

Letting out a deep breath, Harvey decides to run Mike through the story. He is his best friend and the closest person to him. Now that Donna and him aren't on good terms.

"Donna kissed me", Harvey speaks breaking the short silence. He watches Mike try to hide his shocked expression.

"Shit. I'm sorry Harvey". Furrowing his brows, Harvey looks at Mike now. "What do you mean?".

"Well, I kind of told Donna to tell you how she feels. I figured maybe I was just routing for you two. Kind of feel like that's on me", Mike guiltily admits.

Harvey pauses for a moment. Why would Mike tell Donna to do something like that? A man who is closest to the two of them. It makes Harvey wonder what people from the outside looking in see.

"It's okay Mike. You didn't tell her to kiss me", Harvey says softly.

"Is that what made you marry Paula?".

"I don't know", Harvey admits honestly, returning his gaze back down to his drink.

Mike studies him for a moment, he can't help but think that he looks oddly deflated for a newlywed. It concerns him. Plus he had heard from Rachel about how this has affected Donna.

"Harvey, does Paula know about this kiss?", he asks and the way that Harvey's shoulders fall heavy and he lets out a deep sigh, gives him the answer. "I think you should tell her".

"Oh yeah how is that going to go. Hey Paula I know we're married now, but the night I asked you I had just been kissed by Donna", Harvey quips back, feeling defensive.

"I'm just saying, maybe you're struggling because you have this weight on your shoulders". Harvey looks up, "Struggling?". Mike tilts his head, "Harvey. I know how this…event, has effected everyone".

By 'everyone', Harvey knows he is referring to Donna. "What has she said?", Harvey asks. Mike doesn't need a confirmation, "nothing to me", he reassures.

"But to Rachel?". It's the sad smile on Mike's face as he says, "She's trying to wrap her head around it". Harvey shoots him a look, and Mike reluctantly adds, "She's hurting Harvey".

Harvey wasn't prepared for the hurt he felt by just hearing of her pain. He was so focused on his anger towards her and what she 'made him into', that he never stopped to wonder if it was what he wanted, to hurt her. Maybe their entire relationship will be destroyed from this. Twelve years of whatever the hell they were. Gone

"What did Donna say when she kissed you?", Mike asks. Harvey thinks back, "She just said that she had to know". Harvey doesn't even realise that Mike is waiting for him to continue. "And? What did she find out?".

It's in this moment that Harvey realises he never asked. Or she never said. His thoughts have been so one-sided since it happened. He hadn't thought about what she learned from it, why she did it, or how she was doing. Guilt swirls around in the pit of his stomach. But also a necessity to know.

"You never asked her did you?", Mike fills in the blank. "I didn't think about it. I'm with Paula", and Mike rolls his eyes. So Harvey.

"Do you love her?", and although Harvey would never admit it, there's a fraction of a second where he isn't sure who Mike is referring to. The thought causes panic to strike through his body, so he buries it. "Paula's a great woman, she's stable and the first real relationship I've ever had".

"That's not what I asked Harvey". Harvey lets his mind settle, even though he's not sure it ever will.

Both men sit for a few moments. Mike eventually knocks back the final swig of his drink and checks his watch. "Listen, I think you should tell Paula about Donna. You don't need this guilt at the start of a marriage". Standing up he slaps Harvey firmly on the back signalling that he is leaving. "But Harvey, everything works out in the end". Harvey smiles light-heartedly at his friend, "Thanks Mike. Genuinely".

He watches Mike leave, and nurses the last quarter of his drink. He knows Paula should know about the kiss. But he also knows of the can of worms that it is bound to open. Thoughts of Donna soon cloud his thoughts. He can't believe that he never thought to ask her about it, they even had a big argument about it a few nights back. And have barely spoken since.

Harvey guides his thoughts as he finishes off his drink. Standing up, he knows where he needs to go.

.

.

Another lonely night with the only company being a bottle of red wine, Donna thinks to herself as she curls up on her sofa. She almost forces her thoughts to get out of their Harvey-sized ditch that they have been stuck in for too long. As a chill runs through her body, she stands up to go and retrieve her robe. Walking past her book case, a certain book catches her attention. After grabbing her robe and pulling it around her body, she returns to the book, pulls it out and experiences a wave of nostalgia.

A small smile appears on her face. And in this moment she tells herself that this is the turning point, she is going to sort her shit out. She is Donna after all. After a flush of confidence, she takes the book to her seat on the sofa and pulls out her phone dialling the number she remembers from years ago.

He picks up after a few rings. "Hello?", the familiar voice asks. "Mark, hi. It's Donna Paulsen".

"Donna. Wow. It's um, good to hear from you it's been a long time", Mark says. She lets out a small breathy laugh, "Yeah. I was just thinking about you and I… decided to give you a call". Part of her feels a little embarrassed as she tries to explain what made her bite the bullet and call. She will blame the wine.

"Well I'm glad you did. I think about you from time to time, too". Donna cringes a little bit, and adds "This is weird". He laughs lightly, "Oh I don't know, ex-girlfriend calling late at night, I've seen weirder". She lets out a chuckle too, already feeling pleased with the interaction.

"While you're thinking about where you've seen weirder, why don't you check your calendar and see if you can squeeze me in for a drink sometime soon", she says, feeling herself slip into a flirty nature. She is even more pleased when he tells her, "I don't have to check my calendar. I'm pretty sure I can squeeze you in any time". They make plans for Friday evening.

After ending the call, Donna lets out a content sigh. She also notes that this is the first time in a short while that she's felt almost, relaxed and excited for something. Maybe she can get to that place all the time. Leaning her head back against the seat, she can feel herself able to drift off into a peaceful slumber, even though her back and neck will most likely regret falling asleep on the sofa.

That's until three loud knocks startle her. Checking the time on her phone she reads it as 11:45pm, this concerns her. She cautiously walks over to the door, and peers one eye to see who is outside. Once they focus, her body floods with the anxiety and heavy weight of emotions all over again.

She begrudgingly unlocks the door and opens it. "Harvey", she sighs. "What are you doing here?". Donna eyes him, and he seems dishevelled. His eyes are almost in a panic, his tie loose and hair slightly messed up.

"I, I just needed to speak to you", he breathes, and Donna is sure that he sounds as though he has been running. She considers inviting him in, but remembers their situation almost a second after. Tightening her robe around her body, suddenly feeling exposed, she eyes him curiously. "About?".

"You said, you just had to know", he says. Donna internally eye rolls. This stupid kiss again. "Harvey, we've had this conversation and it didn't end well, so you may as well just go ho-".

"Did you find out?", he cuts her off. His eyes bore into hers, searching for something. Donna feels taken aback. She hadn't had time to prepare for this, what to say. To put herself first again, admit her feelings and make life hard for Harvey. Or again, let Harvey come out on top. Of course she wanted to see him happy. She was just hurt. Hurt so goddamn much by the man standing in front of her.

So she swallows, takes a breath and tells him, "nothing". "I felt nothing. If that's what you're worried about". The lie tumbles out of her mouth and she feels disappointed. When did she become the person to not tell things to Harvey straight. That was why the relationship worked so well. Harvey doesn't speak for a minute, and Donna is struggling to read him. Another foreign element to their relationship.

He eventually nods and breathes out an "okay". She watches him begin to turn around, before he halts and spins back to face her.

"Donna"

"Harvey"

"I'm married to Paula. I'm giving it a real go", he says. She holds his gaze, "I know". Donna thinks he will leave now, but again he catches her off guard, "But I need you". "In my life".

"I always have, and I always will", his eyes hold emotions Donna hasn't seen before. Part of her buried deep, wonders if it could be regret. She doesn't trust her words, so she resides to nodding slowly.

"You made a mistake. You've put me first for years, and if I can't see that then what the hell are we doing", the honesty strikes something in Donna. She whispers, "I know".

With that, Harvey breaks their gaze and turns around. To walk away.

.

.

Harvey lets out a shaky breath when he's finally out of Donna's building. If he is honest with himself, he didn't even know he was going there. Once he had the unanswered question of the kiss in his head, he had to find out. He should feel relieved that she felt nothing. But part of him regretfully feels wounded. Nonetheless, she is part of his life and if anything it made him realise that he can't survive without them on good terms. It is the time to rebuild.

But now, he has to go home to his wife. And tell her about the kiss. If he is truly to continue forwards, like Mike said, he needs to take the weight off of his shoulders.

He finds her sitting up on the sofa when he walks in. Paula's gaze lifts from her phone to his eyes, she can sense something foreign in them. "Harvey, it's past midnight", she is unimpressed.

"I know, and I'm sorry", Harvey says softly, wondering how is best to approach this conversation.

Harvey decides to take a seat next to her, not far away, but not close neither. Paula notices the purposive distance, anxious as to what he is going to do next. "What is it Harvey?", she asks shakily, cursing herself for the insecurities creeping up on her.

Avoiding Paula's gaze, Harvey stares out to the skyline surrounding his condo. "I need to tell you something". Feeling her heart in her throat, she immediately has an inkling. "It's about Donna isn't it?".

Rather than Harvey's head snapping in her direction and immediately shutting down the claim, as she hopes he will, he remains staring in front. "Are you joking me Harvey?", she huffs out.

"She kissed me". He chooses now to lift his head to meet her eyes. "When?". Letting out a sigh Harvey regretfully admits, "Last week". He can see the anger rise within Paula. "I really hope this wasn't on the day you asked me to marry you". Harvey's silence answers this question.

"Oh my god. I can't believe this", Paula says, Harvey does feel a pang of guilt strike through him. "Listen Paula. I know I should've told you the other night, but I was afraid. It didn't mean anything, on either part". She scoffs loudly, shaking her head. "I really want to make this work. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, but I'm telling you now".

"I walked in to tell her about Jessica getting disbarred, and before I knew it she kissed me", Harvey adds but Paula just sits for a moment.

"Let me see if I understand this. The night you came home and asked me to marry you, you'd just kissed another woman?", she chokes.

"I didn't do it. I didn't know how to handle it!", he exclaims, flaying his arms.

"Well, let me tell you how not to handle it. Don't come home and give me some bullshit about wanting to marry me, and when I ask if something else is going on, lie to my face". Harvey sighs. "That is not the reason I asked you. I asked you because you make the world go away", he says softly.

"Paula, I want this to work. I need this to work", Harvey pleads. Paula stares at him. "Why did it have to be Donna", she spits. "That woman has an ungodly hold over you, it's odd". The harshness of her words causes Harvey to flinch slightly, he has never dealt well with anybody saying a bad word about Donna in front of him. But he chooses to remain silent.

"It didn't mean anything, we're just friends". "Well friends don't kiss each other Harvey", Paula says. "I made her swear to never do it again", Harvey sighs.

He lets her process for a few moments and calm down. Paula looks up at him. "I trust you Harvey, I do. But you've made me question that tonight". "I know I have and I'm so sorry".

"But I don't know how I feel about Donna being a part of your life", she admits. Harvey furrows his brows at this comment. He understands of course, but as he has realised tonight, not being on good terms with Donna is just not an option. "Paula, Donna has been a part of my life for a long time. She crossed a line yes, but she's someone that I can't lose".

.

.

The next couple days at work have been different. Harvey and Donna have almost slipped back into their usual flow, whatever that may be. After Harvey's talk with Paula, he felt better. No guilt of keeping a secret, and trying to establish a relationship with Donna.

Donna also felt better. She realises she has to move on, but the fact that Harvey can still be a part of her life is important to her. Even though it may kill her sometimes, knowing what they could have. Most of all she has realised that the whole firm runs better when they can actually have a conversation.

She has her 'catch up' with Mark tonight, and may even admit to herself that she feels a little excited. It will be nice to have a man's central attention for once.

"Donna", Harvey's voice interrupts her thoughts as he strides into her office, eyes focused down on a stack of papers in his hand. He feeds through the stack before pulling out one and handing it over, "I think this one was missed by you earlier".

"Oh sorry, I'll get right to it", she answers taking it off of him and placing it down next to her on the desk. Harvey stands tall looking at her before the corners of his mouth twitch into a smirk, causing a small smile to slowly creep onto her own face. "What is it?", she asks, eyebrows raised.

"I just find it interesting that you actually made a mistake", he smirks. "Oh no, this wasn't a mistake. I purposely missed this one, so you would have to come into here, and I could ask why you bumped heads with Louis earlier", Donna quips with ease. She is satisfied when the penny drops and the expression crosses his features. He then chuckles, shaking his head, he was going to ask how she knew about his altercation, but immediately remembered that she's Donna.

"Why don't you take a seat and you can tell me all about it", she teases. Harvey gives in and sits opposite her, the desk in between them. Sighing, "Well, it's because he dropped it on me that I've got to be the one to meet this prospective client this evening. Even when it was meant to be him", Harvey begins. He knows that Donna will know the right thing to say, she will tell him what he did wrong. He will argue that he didn't, until they both agree that he is the one to apologise to Louis. It was their thing, and Harvey counts his blessings that this hasn't changed.

Later in the evening. Donna struts into the bar that her and Mark agreed to meet in, feeling nervous and excited. She had changed into one of her good dresses. They were all good dresses, but this one had a little extra cleavage exposure and a daring slit up one side. Donna wanted to feel sexy tonight.

She spotted him almost immediately, sitting in a corner booth where he had text to say he was. He had two drinks in front of him, a vodka which she remembered him to drink, and it appeared that he had bought a Margarita for her. Smiling she walks over. "Mark, hi", she greets, leaning over to kiss his cheek before she slides in next to him. "Donna, you look great", he smirks causing a small blush to rest on her cheeks.

The conversation flows easy between them. They spend the first few drinks reminiscing the days they spent together, laughing and flirting with one another in the corner. Donna feels the best she's felt in a while tonight. This is exactly what she needed.

"I'm surprised that there isn't a Mr Donna Paulsen yet", Mark says taking a large sip of his drink. "Well", she smirks while shuffling ever so slightly closer to him, "You know I have my standards". His hand gently caresses her thigh underneath the table.

"I'm glad to see you haven't lowered them", he says lowly, and she can see him eyeing up her lips. "To tell you the truth, I actually raised them. At least professionally". This catches Mark's attention, and his eyebrows raise impressed, "You mean you finally stopped working for Harvey?".

Trying not to let the mention of Harvey catch her off guard, she answers him quickly, "Yes and no. I still work at the firm, but I'm COO now". Mark smiles genuinely, "Donna that's fantastic".

"To tell you the truth, I always thought that something was going on between the two of you", he admits. Donna acts shocked, an ex-boyfriend, whose very reason for the end of their relationship was Harvey, made this observation. "What, no. It wasn't like that between me and Harvey", she says defensively. "He's married". She hopes she didn't sound too bothered.

Mark stares at her. Gives her a warm smile and says softly, "You are far too good for that man anyway". He leans in and catches her lips in a kiss, its needy and induced by alcohol, but nonetheless a great kiss.

She breaks the kiss, giggling when he attempts to lean straight back in so she puts her arms on his shoulders to gently push him back. "So anyway, what about you?", she mumbles beneath the kisses he's stealing from her lips. Letting a few kisses linger, he still doesn't answer her question and his hand travels further up her thigh. "No Mrs Meadows yet?", she smirks, again having to break a kiss.

However, his attempt to again ignore her question and lean in for another kiss grabs Donna's attention. She pushes him back more firmly now, staring into his eyes. She tilts her head to the side indicating that she wants him to answer the question. "I, um. Got married about three years ago", he admits.

Married. Her stomach drops and she searches his left hand for a ring, but finds none. "I took it off before coming to see you", he says when noticing what she was doing. "Mark, what did you think this was?", Donna asks, anger laced in her tone. "I wanted to see you Donna, you called me".

"You shouldn't have agreed to see me", she shakes her head. Donna pushes him further away, and tries to peel his hands off of her body, but he resists. "To tell you the truth, I think about you all the time. And my wife and I have been at each other's throats for months. And then you called, so I thought I'd meet you. And see what happens".

Feeling an anger rise within her. Donna says, "Well I'll tell you what's not gonna happen. I'm not gonna be the answer to your problems, by being your dirty mistress for the night". Making an attempt to pull herself away from him again, only fuels Mark on as he fuses their lips together again. His hand forces his way up her thigh as she pushes him again and again off of her. "Mark, get off me!", she all but shouts, hoping to get some attention in the crowded bar.

.

.

Harvey had had a successful evening with his prospective client. So much so, that they were no longer prospective. Harvey offers to join him for a drink in a bar he knows a few streets down, to celebrate.

When he enters, it only takes a scan of the room before he spots her. Sitting only inches away from another man he doesn't recognise. Harvey suddenly feels frustrated. Even from this distance, he can tell that she is flirting, and enjoying it. His mind will not let him admit that it's a wave of jealously that he's experiencing.

It is clear that Donna hasn't spotted him, she's too engrossed with this man Harvey thinks. So he sits with the man he is supposed to be making an effort with, but ends up focusing all of his attention on the wandering hands all over Donna's body. Harvey takes a large sip of his scotch, attempting to burn away the hatred he felt for a man he's never met. Donna is single, he tells himself. It has nothing to do with him.

After the client has clearly got bored of Harvey's lack of attention, he says his goodbyes and tells him he will be in touch to arrange a meeting in the office. Harvey politely as he can says goodbye. He decides to finish off the remnants of his drink before heading home himself. He could easily just leave now, but something about this man riles him up.

The moment that something snaps inside of Harvey is when he catches Donna appearing to push the man off of her. Harvey stiffens and watches the exchange unfold. She is pushing him away once, twice, and on the third time he sees her mouth "Mark, get off me!". That was all it took.

Harvey leapt out of his chair and marched his way over to the booth they were so closely sitting in. He grabbed Mark by the back of his jacket, pulling him away from Donna. "Something tells me that she doesn't want you doing that", he spits. Donna scrambles away, looking up to see her saviour. Her eyes lock with Harvey's. Mark also turns around shrugging Harvey's hand off of him, before he breaks out in a bitter laugh, "Harvey Specter are you joking me?". "Thought you said you finally peeled yourself away from him Donna?", Mark patronises.

"I think it's you who needs to 'peel' yourself away from her", Harvey says gruffly.

Donna feels a mix of emotions just watching this unfold. She's grateful for being saved, but she is sure that she could've handled it herself. And of all the people, it just had to be Harvey. He marched over like she was something of his, and that's what infuriates her. She makes a quick grab for her bag, and slides herself off of the seat before walking towards the door. Underestimating how much alcohol she had had, Donna stumbles slightly before regaining her balance. Yeah she was drunk.

The cold air hits her hard, and she has to steady herself. A pair of hands grab her waist gently to help her stay upright, she whips around to see Harvey. Stepping back to pushes him away, "Harvey go away!", she raises her voice.

"Donna, did you see what I just saved you from in there? And look at you, you're drunk!", he exclaims stepping forwards again.

"Oh my hero", she spits sarcastically. He feels a stab of hurt at her reaction, he was genuinely trying to help her.

"You couldn't handle that", he says. "Oh yes I could! I didn't need you swanning in to save the day!". He huffs then clearly getting annoyed himself. "What did you expect me to do? Just sit there and see his hands all over you? You know h-".

Donna cuts him off before he can finish, waving her fingers out in front of her. "No, no, no! You don't get to do that anymore!", she shouts. "Donna!".

"No! All that 'it bothers me' shit, yeah that doesn't exist anymore! It can't Harvey". How dare he insinuate that he was bothered by seeing her with another man. She doesn't care if the anger and alcohol in her system are causing a lapse in judgement.

Harvey doesn't say anything in retaliation. Afraid of what words may be spoken that can't be taken back tomorrow. So he stands watching her sway unsteadily in those goddamn high heels. "Donna", he says more calmly. "You're drunk. Let me get Ray to drop you home". But Donna just shakes her head, laughing, "No way. I don't need your help again. I'm getting a cab".

Harvey huffs in annoyance again, watching her flag down a yellow cab. He steps towards her in attempts to help her get in safely. "Come on, just at least let me help you get in", he suggests.

"Harvey, get off me! I can do things without you!", slurring her words, she pushes him away again, and Harvey gives up.

He stands on the street, watching the cab she's in drive off. He runs a hand through his hair and steadies his breath. He just wants to go home and be alone. But that isn't possible he remembers. So another night will have to be spent thinking of anything and anyone but his wife sleeping next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! All reviews are welcome!


	4. Mistake

"Sore head?"

Donna snaps her head up almost wincing at the throb pulsating as she does. Harvey is standing there two coffees in hand with a slight smirk resting on his lips. Immediately she hopes that one of them is for her, and judging by him standing in her office it is.

"Harvey", she says, straightening up slightly.

Her memory may be slightly hazy, but not enough to forget about the argument that they had had the previous night. Donna does feel a pang of guilt when she remembers how harsh she had been to him, she was in a slight predicament with Mark in need of an intervener. It was just the fact that it was Harvey. It paints the sad picture of her life.

"I'm sorry", they both say at the same time, and then they both let out a nervous laugh looking at one another.

"No. I'm sorry for barging in last night. You're Donna after all, you could've handled it", Harvey says stepping closer to her desk, a serious smile playing on his face. He wanted to make sure they were on good terms, so he came to the conclusion that no matter what he thought of the situation, it's easier to try and make things right.

"It's okay Harvey. Maybe I couldn't have handled it", she trails off, feeling slightly embarrassed at the fact that she let herself be in the position of a man overpowering her.

An atmosphere settles over them both for a moment, until Donna feels another throb in her head. "So, I hope one of these coffees is for me, because going back to your earlier question, yes my head is very sore", she chuckles raising an eyebrow.

"That's what I thought", Harvey laughs before passing her the cup.

Donna takes a sip and instantly moans as the hot liquid brings her slightly back to life, after feeling slightly inhuman this morning. She really cannot drink like she used to on a work night.

Looking up from the cup she smiles at Harvey who is still standing there. "Thank you Harvey".

Harvey ponders for a moment, he did want to speak to Donna about last night, but at the beginning of the work day just didn't seem appropriate.

"So, if you wanted we could have a drink later on? You know to just put last night behind us?", he suggests.

Donna is surprised at the invitation, Harvey isn't one to approach issues head on. Another drinks at night with another married man, way to pick them Donna, she thinks to herself. But if she is to make this work with Harvey, they need to get back on track to being friends.

"That would be nice Harvey. As long as it's in these walls and no dodgy bar", she teases.

"Yeah I think that might be best. I'll come find you at the end of the day", he says before leaving her to carry on with work.

Donna tries to hide away the excitement and nervousness she already feels for one-on-one time with Harvey, being civil. This will be the first time since this crazy mess began. As much as she wishes she could cut him out of her life, it is clear that that is not an option. So if a friendship is all she gets with Harvey after all this time, it will just have to do. She made her move with the kiss, it didn't work out and he sent the clear message back, getting married to another woman.

.

.

Harvey feels himself wishing the working day away. He has felt lost these past few weeks. It has been a whirlwind of emotions and he sometimes wonders if it has led him to where he is supposed to be. Donna is one thing he needs back. Something about not being on good terms sends him spiralling. Shaking the memory of when she first left him to work for Louis and the way his body and mind reacted, he focuses on keeping everything in check.

So as soon as he finishes his last page of paperwork for the night, he grabs a bottle of scotch and two glasses before heading down the hall to Donna's office.

Donna intends to only have the one drink, after the heavy night she had previously. Of course this isn't the case, one drink soon turns to three and pretences are beginning to be dropped between them both.

"So much for not drinking much tonight", Harvey smirks as Donna gets up to give them both a refill.

"Well you know what they say. What makes you bad makes you better", she quips. "And we may as well finish off this bottle now we've started". She flops down onto the two seater, next to Harvey. They had both decided that sitting on the chairs around the desk were too uncomfortable and formal for the friendly drinks that they were having.

"I miss this", Donna says after a moment. She thinks that she might have regretted the honesty pouring out of her if it wasn't for the alcohol in her system, again. For safe measure she adds almost instantly after, "I love my new role, but I do just miss before when the two of us working together, like this". They are both aware of the unspoken reference to 'before'. As in before the kiss, and before Harvey got married.

"Me too Donna", he says softly.

"I did want to check if you were okay after last night", Harvey says, now feeling that they are comfortable enough to broach the subject. Donna stiffens and shifts uncomfortably.

"I'm okay", is all she says avoiding his gaze.

"You wanna tell me what went wrong?", he presses. Donna lifts her gaze to meet his, there's a slight tease and she releases a breathy laugh as she knows it was unlikely for Harvey to drop it.

"He's married".

"And before you give me that look. I didn't know when I agreed to meet him", she feels the need to defensively state this to Harvey, given what the two of them have recently gone through.

Harvey feels slightly guilty and wishes he didn't ask her, as now he has to tackle an awkwardness in the air. "I'm sorry Donna". She stays silent for a moment.

"Yeah, so you saved me from a married man", her eyes stare into his. "He just wanted me as some mid-life crisis I think. Then would've carried on with his marriage". This hurt Donna to not only consider this possibility and likelihood of what Mark was after from her, but also to admit it to Harvey. Another married man.

She barely felt the single tear slipping out of her eye. Then she feels sudden warmth as Harvey takes hold of her hand and gives it a delicate squeeze. "Donna. You know that you deserve the world", he says and it's so soft Donna doesn't know if she would recognise the sound as Harvey if he wasn't in front of her.

His eyes hold so much. So much she can't read anymore. The feel of their hands touching and the intensity of his gaze into hers trap her in a trance. She begs for his hand not to leave hers as she digests his words. It was a simple sentence and is a good comfort technique to be used by friends, but from Harvey. Donna truly wonders for the first time since their kiss, that maybe this could mean something.

"Harvey", she tries her best to smile through her tears. Harvey squeezes her hand for a second time, silently indicating that it is not to be challenged. This is because he does think that she deserves the world. So much more than he thinks any man could ever give her, especially him.

Donna moves her free hand to cover Harvey's resting on her other, and she offers the gentle squeeze back. Despite her wish to keep this connection with him, she subtly frees her hands away, immediately missing the contact.

"Anyway", she puts her best fake smile on. "Enough about my depressing life, how's everything going with Paula?". She doesn't want to know, of course she doesn't. But her and Harvey want to be friends.

"Oh, um, fine", he says feeling oddly taken aback by the mention of her. Harvey realised that he hadn't thought about Paula tonight until now.

"She must hate me", Donna breathes.

"Let's not talk about her", he dismisses instantly, and it strikes Donna as odd.

"Aren't friends supposed to know what's going on in the other's life?", there is a hint of teasing but also curiosity. Harvey looks at her and forces out a breathy laugh, Donna doesn't miss the forcefulness though.

"Well you're just as much part of my life".

"I wouldn't have said that was the case last week".

"Donna", he pleads and Donna straightens in her seat. There will always be that final wall that she cannot break down. "Harvey. I want us to be able to talk about things".

Suddenly Harvey feels the need to be defensive. "Well you kind of ruined that didn't you?", he says harshly. He regrets it almost instantly, but the thought of voicing what's been sitting heavy at the bottom of his stomach, would make it all real. And Harvey isn't ready for that.

Donna just stares agape for a moment, before shaking her head. "So we're going back to that are we?". Feeling the anger begin to boil inside of her, "Does she even know that you're with me now?".

The look he gives her answers her question. She scoffs disapprovingly. "Harvey, you keep saying that you want us to be okay again. But hiding this, will never end well".

Harvey lets out a deep sigh but doesn't say anything. He is only snapped out of his trance when Donna stands up and starts to collect her things. Instinctively he reaches out to grab her wrist to stop her from leaving. She stops and eyes his hand, before sighing. "Harvey, this was a mistake".

Harvey opens his mouth to protest but is startled by the sharp clearing of someone's throat, he snaps his head up to the direction of the noise. Paula.

Paula's eyes scan over the scene, and most importantly to her the way that Harvey has a hold of Donna's wrist. "Harvey?", Paula asks with a questioning tone.

He immediately drops Donna's arm. "Paula. Um, hey. What are yo-"

"Doing here? I was on my way home and thought I'd surprise you. But", she stops, glancing towards Donna, "seems like you already had company".

"I was just leaving, I'll see you tomorrow Harvey", Donna says whilst putting her coat on. "Goodnight", she nods to Paula before walking out. Tonight is not the night to get involved in that situation, so Donna leaves and goes straight home.

When Donna is out of the room. Harvey forces a smile, "Um, you want a drink?", he extends his glass.

Paula simply frowns at him. "No, thank you". "You want to tell me what that was all about?", she asks pointedly.

"It was nothing", he shrugs. Harvey stands up to refill his glass, and adds "I'm not in the mood for an argument Paula".

"Is that because you don't think there is anything worth fighting for?", she asks sadly. This makes Harvey look up and he just feels guilty, again.

"I'll say one thing Harvey. I don't know how we are supposed to move forward whilst Donna is in your life", Paula says. Harvey opens his mouth to speak but is interrupted again. "I don't know how everything is supposed to be, but I'm sure the fact that I feel like this already about another woman in your life, is not right".

"Paula", he says, but realises he doesn't know how to finish. "I'm going home Harvey, I'll see you there later. Don't come with me now. I think we both need to think things through", Paula sighs before turning around and leaving.

Watching the other woman in his life leave him tonight Harvey takes a rather large sip of his drink. His brain is swimming with thoughts so heavy he's sure that he has a physical headache. Deep down, he really isn't sure if being with Paula is what he wants. But he is worried that they are in too deep, a situation caused by him.

He also knows that being with Donna isn't an option. It could ruin them, what they have. Besides, she didn't feel anything when she kissed him. He pushes away the pain he feels from that notion. Two people have to want to be together to be together, he thinks. It dawns on him that the fact that this is in his head is so wrong. He is meant to be married.

Harvey finishes his drink and immediately pours himself a refill. The more he drinks, alcohol clouding his mind and body. He truly realises the mistake he has made.

.

.

It's late. Donna isn't sure how late, but she just knows that it is late. After leaving the office Donna felt so emotionally exhausted. It's like every time her and Harvey attempt to get on the same page, it ends sour. Every time she thinks that they may have had a moment, she is slapped with the stark reality that he is indeed married. Paula turning up reminded her of just that tonight. Donna cannot be the woman to come between them.

Donna feels like just as she was drifting off into slumber, that's when it happened. The loud continuous knocks that sounds through her entire apartment. She immediately sits up. Panic numbing her body. When the knocking doesn't subside, she gets out of bed and cautiously makes her way to the door.

Her first thought is that it could be the police, and then she feels the dread of wondering what if something has happened to someone. In her panic she doesn't even think to check the small peep hole, and opens it.

What she didn't expect is for a man to fall directly into her, she yelps and stumbles back struggling to keep her balance and hold the weight against her. When she finally manages to push the weight off of her she's met with Harvey.

"Harvey what the hell!", she exclaims.

"Mm shit, sorry", he says and the heavy slur on his words is enough to indicate that he is drunk. She eyes him up then, and by drunk, he appears to be extremely drunk. The smell of scotch immediately fills her senses.

"What are you doing here? You can't come to me like this anymore", she sighs, walking past him to close the door, she's sure the neighbours won't appreciate the noise at this time of night.

"I, just um needed to see you", Harvey says as he slightly sways on the spot.

"Why the hell are you so drunk? Did you drink the whole bottle?", she crosses her arms over her chest suddenly remembering that she stands in just her satin pyjamas.

Harvey's eyes unapologetically scan over her entire body, before a smirk breaks out on his lips. "Mm you look good", he says.

Any other time Donna thinks that she might have laughed, or even enjoyed his shameful comment. This time though she walks forwards and lightly slaps his arm, "Harvey!".

"Why did you need to see me?", she asks again.

"I think I'm gonna have to stay here tonight", he slurs before struggling to shrug off his jacket.

Shaking her head in disbelief Donna asks, "And why is that?".

"I just need to".

Harvey drops his jacket on the floor and starts walking in the direction of Donna's bedroom, he stumbles a few times and she follows him. "Woah, where do you think you're going?", she asks. Donna watches him enter the room and sit at the end of her bed, clearly making himself comfortable.

"I'm just so tired Donna", he mumbles. His gaze lifts to hers as she stands in the doorway, just watching him. Aside from his disheveled and blatantly drunk appearance, his eyes hold a lot of pain. Harvey closes his eyes and pats the bed next to him indicating for Donna to join him.

Reluctantly, she moves and sits down next to him. He immediately leans his weight against her side, and she has to lift a hand to steady him once again. Anger at him disturbing her at home aside, she did feel a degree of worry for the man next to her. She couldn't help but think that maybe his life was in just as much of a shambles as hers is.

"Harvey", she says softly this time. He flutters his eyes open on hearing her voice. "Tell me what's going on".

He breathes out a long sigh and Donna is sure that his eyes are glassed over. "I think I made a mistake Donna", he croaks, and despite the strong slur, his voice is full of emotion. Donna thinks that she should feel happy, but seeing him so down made her feel anything but.

"Listen", she starts off and he turns his head to face her.

"I don't want to tell you what to do Harvey. But you mustn't hide this from her, and if you truly do think that it's a mistake, you need to end it", she thinks her voice is soft but firm.

Harvey doesn't speak for a moment. His eyes are boring into hers. Donna watches his hand closest to her rise before surprisingly taking her face in his palm. She doesn't speak or move and neither does he. Despite the touch they shared earlier in the night at the office, this feels more intimate.

After what feels like minutes but is no doubt only a few seconds of trying to read his eyes, Donna breaks the silence. "Harvey", is all she says.

Donna watches his tongue dart out to moisten his lips and he leans in close enough that she can feel his warm, scotch-scented breath against her face. Donna is frozen.

Harvey's lips then press against hers and a warmth floods through her from head to toe. But then he pulls away after a few short seconds.

Harvey uses his thumb to gently caress Donna's cheek before also removing that. The words tumble out of his loose, drunken mouth before his brain can register.

"I really wish you felt something Donna", is all he says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! All reviews are welcome!


	5. Space

Harvey isn't sure what exactly wakes him up from his slumber. Whether it was the desperate need to vomit or to hydrate his alcohol-induced dry mouth. Or if it was the stark reality of where he was. In Donna's bed.

He sits up immediately before falling back down as his head clearly disagrees with his body's sharp movement, and- wow, he hasn't been this hungover in a hell of a long time. He swallows down the bile rising in his throat. What he would give to be back in his early twenties, where a hangover never exceeded past a bit of a headache and the craving for savoury food.

One thing that Harvey does realise is that he is alone in the bed, and fully clothed. Also, judging by the silence that he intently listens to, the entire apartment is also empty. He attempts to sit up again and pats around himself trying to find his phone.

A loud buzzing grabs his attention, and completes his search as he acknowledges the phone moving alongside the buzz on the nightstand.

He grabs it and sees the name 'Paula'. Shit. Again, he thinks. Answering quickly he first finds his croaky voice, "Hey", is all he musters before clearing his throat.

"Harvey", Paula's voice down the line is sharp. "Where are you!", she demands.

This is the first time Harvey's brain thinks back properly to last night. Paula arrived unannounced at the firm to see him and Donna drinking together. The words that followed between them caused him to find comfort in too much of his whisky. And then he found himself at Donna's door, again. Kissing her.

Holy shit, he really is in something here.

"Harvey!", the voice at the other end of the phone calls angrily, snapping him away from his thoughts.

"Um, sorry. Um. I had too much to drink last night and I ended up staying at Mike's", the lie slips too easily from his mouth and he is sure that he can physically feel the regret on his tongue.

There's a silence for a moment and all Harvey can hear is Paula's heavy breathing down the line and the sound of a heavy buzz of traffic in the background, she must be on her way to work. This makes him beg the question of what time it is, and just how late for work he most probably is.

He is sure that he can hear a quiet sniffle before she finally speaks again. "Meet me at your condo in half an hour". She ends the call before Harvey has a chance to respond.

Harvey sees for the first time this morning his phone's home screen, which displays the time of 9:04am. He shoots out of bed the best he can and straight away heads for the door.

On his way his attention is stolen by an open notepad on the dresser. Neatly scrawled on the paper is 'Think you may be needing this', and a single key rests beside it. Harvey pretends that it doesn't make the corner of his lip twitch slightly, despite everything that is going on.

.

.

Before Harvey had even stirred this morning Donna was already in her office. A sleepless night meant an early rise, and a way to avoid someone is to go into work early. By someone, Donna refers to the passed out Harvey Specter that she left in her bed this morning.

How does one sleep soundly when an incredibly drunk Harvey turns up at your door in the middle of the night, tells you that he thinks he may have made a mistake with marrying Paula, kisses you, and then passes out in your bed. Donna didn't know what to make of it. She still doesn't.

After sitting stunned for a minute or ten and listening to the incessant snoring of a drunk Harvey, she decided that she didn't deserve to be bound to a nights sleep on the sofa. So she laid down next to him. She still didn't sleep a wink, so she wishes that she had opted for the sofa.

This morning she did what she felt that she could cope with, and a conversation about last night was not something. So she quietly got herself ready for the day, left a note with her spare key and snuck out just after 7am.

Even though nothing serious as such happened last night. Donna feels that Harvey really must be conflicted for him to actually kiss her. Alcohol aside, maybe things between them were finally changing.

Donna attempts to regain her focus on her work, and stands to leave her office in order to pick up a file from Louis. On her way out a flash of blonde hair catches her attention. It looks out of place so when Donna turns to fully focus, it's Paula walking towards her.

Coming to a halt, Donna swallows thickly, just looking at this woman's face knowing that Harvey stayed the night at her apartment last night instead of going home to his wife, makes guilt settle in the pit of her stomach. Donna quickly composes herself and puts her best smile on. "Paula, what are you doing here?".

"Oh forget the niceties Donna", Paula says sharply and it takes Donna by surprise. They are now face-to-face in the busy corridor and Donna eyes their audience carefully, fearful that this may turn to be a public affair.

"Sorry?", Donna questions defensively.

Paula laughs sarcastically. "I know where he was last night, and I know he was with you".

"And don't even think about lying to my face", Paula adds anger evident in her tone as her volume increases.

"Paula, let's not talk about this here", Donna says under her breath.

"Why? Don't you want people here to know that you've been sleeping with my husband!", Paula spits.

If Donna was taken by surprise a few moments ago, now she is stunned. Noticing the few heads begin to turn in their direction, she feels the immediate need to say something.

"Sleeping with him! Are you kidding me!", she whisper-shouts furrowing her eyebrows deeply. Donna suddenly eyes the free conference room to her left and opens the door motioning Paula to enter. It may still be glass, but at least their voices should be more concealed within these walls.

"Paula, I can assure you that me and Harvey have not been sleeping together!", Donna exasperates.

Paula thinks for a moment as she eyes Donna. It was clear that she was shocked by the statement, but even if that is not true, this woman is still the sole cause for the breaking down of her and Harvey's relationship, in her eyes.

"I know, Donna. I just know that something has happened between the two of you", she tearily states.

Donna sighs, "listen, I just think that you both made a mistake. It all happened qui-"

"Mistake! The mistake you're talking about, Donna, is that you are still a part of Harvey's life", she spits, cutting Donna off.

"What are you saying?", Donna says defensively.

"I'm saying that if you weren't around, me and Harvey would be fine!". Donna is the one to let out a sarcastic laugh this time.

"If you think that I'm the problem for all this, you need to realise that it goes way beyond my friendship with Harvey", Donna says.

Both women fall silent. Donna eyes Paula's smaller frame and almost feels sorry for the woman. Almost.

Paula seems to be weighing up her options in her head. She knows that it's time to go home and meet Harvey like she had asked him to, arguing with Donna was a way of stalling.

"You'll never be enough for him either Donna. I hope you know that", Paula says sadly, before she turns around and begins to leave.

"He's not a bad man Paula. Sometimes people just choose the wrong people", Donna calls just before Paula has left the room. Paula stops for a moment, but she doesn't turn around, she simply walks away.

.

.

"Paula", Harvey calls as he walks into his condo.

He can hear that someone else is here with him, yet he can't see Paula nor does she call out to greet him so he gingerly makes his way towards the bedroom. That's where he finds her, just sitting on the bed.

Paula looks up to see Harvey and his disheveled look. Her eyes hold anger and hurt and Harvey feels a pang of guilt rush through him. However, he knows where this is heading and he's not afraid anymore.

"I wish I could blame it on you Harvey", Paula starts. She lets out a breathy laugh, "but really, I am the idiot thinking that you could actually choose me".

Harvey opens his mouth to speak but he knows nothing he says now can do any good, so he closes it and waits for Paula to say something else.

"I wish you could look me in the eye and tell me that she really means nothing. If you were to promise me that she would be out of your life, maybe just maybe", she trails off, her eyes clearly hold hope as she silently pleads with him.

"I'm sorry Paula", is all Harvey can muster.

She sighs. "I guess it's a good thing I've still got my house. It's time for me to go". This is the first time that Harvey notices the clearly packed bags next to her on the floor.

"I think that's best".

Paula sees herself out, leaving no trace of the short time that she has shared this home with him. Harvey supposes that he won't have contact with her now until they have to legally divorce.

Once it sinks in that Paula has really gone, Harvey takes a long, deep breath. The exhaustion and mental strain that has been going on is taking its toll. However, Harvey can't help but feel relief spread through his body, and that's how he knows that he has made the right decision.

The time is unknown to him still now, but for a moment Harvey doesn't care. He moves to his bed and lays down, slinging his phone somewhere next to him.

His mind is clouded full of Donna. He knows what he did last night. Of course he feels guilty, as he was technically still with Paula. He feels hypocritical because of how hard he was on Donna when she did the exact same thing to him. But now he supposes that Donna's reasoning that she gave, made sense, he had to know.

He travels to how Donna felt though. She had told him that she felt nothing. Harvey isn't sure if he wants to believe that, or that he somehow, deep down knows that that isn't true. Of course he has known for years that him and Donna had this connection between them. However, suddenly everything starts to fall in the right place in his head.

His phone buzzes with different names every few minutes, Louis, Mike, Alex. Never her though. Harvey knows that if she rings, he will be the first to answer. But right now, he needs this time of reflection.

It's when the name Jessica flashes across his screen and Harvey knows that it must be important.

It was. He flew out to Chicago later that same day, and he still had had no contact with Donna.

.

.

"Mike really did that?", Donna's careful not to spill the contents of her glass as she throws her head back in laughter.

"Yes! But oh my god, you can never say a word. He would kill me if he knew I told him", Rachel giggles taking a sip of her wine.

Once both women have settled down from their laughter, a comfortable silence falls upon them. Rachel then angles her head slightly at Donna, a smile sitting on her lips.

Raising her eyebrow in her direction, "what is it Rachel?", Donna asks.

"It's just nice to see you happy, like this. It's been a while", Rachel says softly. Donna reaches her hand out and grabs her friends, squeezing it tightly.

"Yeah… these times have been... odd, shall we say", Donna lets out a breathy laugh. "You didn't have to do all of this though Rachel, I am okay", she adds. Donna wants to reassure her friend, but she knows that Rachel can see straight through her.

Donna has not seen nor heard from Harvey since the night he turned up at her apartment and kissed her. Then there was the Paula incident at work, but before he had even graced the firm with his presence, he had been swept away to Chicago to help Jessica. Donna found this out from Mike, and that hurt. Not even as small as a text, but what did she expect. He was Harvey after all.

"Well", Rachel begins and Donna can already sense that she is hesitant about what she is about to say. "I heard about what happened with Paula at the firm, the things she said to you".

Donna's smile falters, she hates what happened. The firm is Donna's place where she is strong and respected by everybody who works there, and Paula's words, or so much scene, had threatened to take this reputation away from her. Not to mention the fact that Donna had in fact, not been "sleeping with her husband".

Donna lets out a deep sigh. "Yeah, I think everyone heard about that".

"I haven't been sleeping with her husband by the way", she adds with an attempted quip to her tone. Rachel knows though.

"I knew that Donna, but you know that I wouldn't judge either way", she softly tells her.

"As for a kiss though", Donna says.

Rachel's head snaps to meet Donnas as confusion flashes across her face. "What do you mean a kiss?", she asks carefully.

"The night before", Donna begins, she pauses to take a breath and to look at Rachel directly. "Me and Harvey were having drinks in his office, when Paula showed up, she didn't look happy so I left".

"But then in the middle of the night, I don't even know what time. Harvey turns up at my door, ridiculously drunk. I let him in because he could barely stand straight, then before I knew it we were sitting on the edge of my bed. And he kissed me", Donna finishes.

"Wow Donna. Harvey kissed you?", Rachel is clearly shocked, a man who treated Donna so badly for when she did the same thing to him. "Did he say anything?".

Donna takes a moment, she wonders on whether to tell Rachel what he actually said. But, she cannot deny how it has been playing on her mind, and she is her best friend.

"He said that he wished that I felt something". Taking Rachel's, again confused look, she feels the need to elaborate. "When he asked me what I found out from the time that I kissed him, I told him that I felt nothing", Donna says.

"But you didn't?", Rachel asks very carefully.

Donna just offers a sad smile, "No, I did feel something. But he had already started his new life with someone else, and I'm not getting involved in that".

"But Donna. You said just a while back, how you have put Harvey above yourself every single time. Maybe it's time to change that", Rachel says.

"It's no use"

"Donna, remember that he is the one that kissed you a few nights ago. For Harvey to make a move like that, says something to me". Donna shakes her head immediately, "He was drunk Rachel".

"Ever heard of dutch-courage?".

Donna smiles lightly, eyeing Rachel thankfully. As much as she is enjoying Rachel's company, there is only so much Harvey talk that she can put herself through. "Thanks Rachel, for tonight, I needed this", Donna gratefully admits.

"Actually, there is another reason that I asked you over tonight as well", Rachel nervously states but it only takes a second before a big smile fills her face.

"We've pushed up the wedding, it's this weekend!"

.

.

"Hey", Harvey's voice sounds.

Donna is surprised he picked up so quickly, but she reminds herself that they haven't spoken all week so he probably thinks it's an emergency.

"Harvey, hey", she answers him. "I hope you don't mind me calling, I know you're with Jess-"

"No of course not. It's um- good to hear from you, is everything okay?", he cuts her off. Donna feels her insides somersault at his words, she can't believe that she feels nervous to simply speak to him.

"Yeah everything's fine", she pauses for a moment and sits herself down on her bed.

"But you do need to come home sooner than you thought", Donna adds.

"Sooner why? I haven't even finished what I need to, Donna what's going on?", he asks and she can sense the worry in his tone.

"Mike and Rachel have pushed the wedding up, to this weekend. They didn't want me to tell you, because of Jessica. But…"

"But I need to be there", Harvey finishes Donna's sentence.

"Something like that", Donna says softly and a small smile graces itself upon her lips.

"I'll be there"

"Good, I'll see you then"

"Wait, Donna", Donna halts her movement to end the call.

She waits for a moment, the only sound on the other end of the line is the steady sound of Harvey's breathing. Donna knows that they have some unresolved issues, because, when do they not. She wonders of his relationship with Paula, after what happened earlier this week. She won't ask though.

"I'm glad you called, and not just to tell me about Mike. I'm glad we've spoken", Harvey says, his voice soft and breathy.

"Me too", is all that Donna responds to him.

"Goodnight Donna"

"Goodnight Harvey"

It's this ending of a call that provokes her thoughts for the evening. Sometimes words never feel enough for Harvey and Donna. Their relationship runs so deep that it embodies them, but when it comes to expressing it, they have never found the right balance. It's also different now, because Donna knows that she shouldn't be thinking about the maybes, or even the unspoken words that end a phone call between two normal people who really care about each other. However, things have felt different these past couple of days. Different from before the other time, different even from before a few months ago, just different. It makes her nervous.

.

.

Harvey makes it by the skin of his teeth. After a last minute flight back to New York, a cab-ride straight to his condo to drop his bags off and get changed, then it was straight to the venue.

Mike is surprised to see him, but Harvey can read how grateful he is to have his best man by his side. They're engaged in a brief chat when Harvey can sense her. He doesn't even need to turn around to know that she's there, he always knows.

He turns around anyway.

There aren't many moments where Harvey has had his breath taken away by something. However, he's been through a hell of a crazy time recently. So seeing Donna in that black dress, hair swept to the side, with a small smile on her face, is enough to do just that. Harvey feels that in an instant all of his thoughts that he has been attempting to get in order this past week, have slotted into place.

"You told him?", Mike's voice is what snaps them both out of their trance on one another.

"Of course I did", Donna says and she has that smile that only Donna has, when everyone knows that she's done something so Donna.

"I'm glad you did"

There is a moment where all three of them settle in silence. All Harvey wants to do is sweep Donna off into a corner and talk to her. He knows there is a lot that needs to be said, he knows from her body language, the slight recoil from his presence. Harvey also knows that tonight is about their two best friends and celebrating them.

"I'm guessing the place was all you?", Harvey points his question at Donna and he sports his half smirk, feeling the need to test the waters with her.

"Do you even need to ask?", she quips.

As Donna smiles back at Harvey, she wonders how the night will pan out. This is the first time they've seen each other since he turned up at her apartment and kissed her. She feels out of the loop with him, but she also wants nothing less than to end up in a huge argument at their best friend's wedding.

Just as Donna is about to open her mouth and say something to Harvey about having a talk later, there is a sudden ushering around indicating that it's time for everyone to get into position. Giving Mike a warm smile, he nods his head and walks to the end of the aisle to wait for Rachel.

Harvey then stands on Donna's right as they prepare to walk down the aisle together. Ironic Donna thinks to herself.

He links their arms together but takes her right hand in his left as he does so. The warmth of his touch immediately fills Donna's senses, this is the closest they've been for a long time. Donna hates that she feels content like this, with him.

Donna brushes her fingers over his knuckles twice, and on the second time she stiffens immediately. Her eyes dart down to where they are linked and she takes a sharp breath.

Harvey's voice steals her attention and she wonders if he had observed her revelation. His eyes are soft and she sees something that she hasn't seen in them before.

"I have so much I need to say to you later"

Donna swallows thickly and can just about muster a nod at him. For good measure she brushes her fingers once again over his knuckles. Just as she thought. There's no ring on his fourth finger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! All reviews are welcome!


	6. Feelings

"We're not coming back Harvey"

Mike's voice rings in Harvey's ears. Without thinking he recovers in front of Mike, embraces him in a hug and nods as he leaves to enjoy the wedding. Harvey, however, stays in that same spot. A lifetime of abandonment resurfaces ever so slightly as the news fully sinks in, another person who has left him. Harvey also realises that even though Paula may not have been right for him, she is another person who has left his life that can be added to the list.

A hand touching his back snaps him out of his trance. Turning to look at the person who has joined him, his eyes lock with Donna's. She does that thing, where she reads him by just his eyes and she knows. She had watched the exchange between the two men, knowing what Mike was telling Harvey. She knows how it will affect him.

"You okay?", she asks.

Harvey lets out a quiet breathy laugh. "I will be".

They hold one another's gaze for what feels like forever and Harvey supposes his eyes are glassed over and holding everything he wants to say. Donna gives him a small smile, her hand now leaving his back as she stands by his side.

"Listen Harvey, it's been an emotional day. So we don't have to do this", Donna's voice is soft. He offers his hand to her and she takes it nervously.

Harvey guides Donna out of the main room and into a joining one, there is nobody in there just them. The faded music and the static atmosphere between them now they are fully alone bothers Harvey, he suddenly feels that everything that he wanted to say is stuck in his throat whilst Donna is eyeing him, expectantly.

"Harvey", Donna breathes and he can see her swallow thickly. She's nervous.

"Me and Paula are over", Harvey finally says, filling the silence, only to be met with more silence.

"Okay"

"Okay?", Harvey questions, furrowing his brow at Donna's non-shocked face.

"Well I figured it after you kissed me and then Paula turned up at the firm, accusing me of sleeping with you", Donna says sharply, suddenly feeling the need to be defensive.

Harvey opens his mouth slightly, then shuts it. He opens again, "She really did that?".

Donna rolls her eyes slightly. "Of course you ignore the kissing".

"Donna please, just give me the chance to say what I need to", Harvey pleads.

"You know Harvey", she begins but takes a deep sigh, tears are clearly clouding her vision. "You can say it, but it's been so long between us, and you've made rash decisions before and I just", she doesn't finish her sentence, too overcome with tears.

Harvey feels a panic rise within him. It's not like the panic attacks he's had in the past. But more like the last constant person in his life is slipping away right in front of him. Suddenly, everything he wants to say is bursting at the seams but his mind can't allocate them in order for his mouth to say.

"Please, Donna", he croaks, panicking when she appears to turn away from him.

"I keep coming back to you", the words are out of his mouth before he can even think about his choice and what they mean.

Donna halts instantly, slowly turning back around to meet Harvey's frantic gaze. She softens slightly, as a single tear runs down her cheek.

"What do you mean?"

"Everything. Everything in my life, leads me back to you", she stands open mouthed slightly.

"Paula, it was a mistake because I was so scared of what I felt with you. But then since I did that, I kept getting drawn back to you, everytime"

"You're all I've got left Donna", the crack in his voice as he finishes his sentence, stirs something in Donna.

She slowly walks forwards towards him. "I don't want you to want me, because you think that everybody has left you Harvey", she says sadly.

Harvey reaches out to her and takes both of her hands in his.

"I'm so fucking scared Donna".

"I just don't know how you can suddenly have this for me, when you were married to another woman last week", Donna says and inside she is cursing herself for pushing this away when it has been everything that she has dreamt of for a long time. But she fears that her heart has been broken by this same man once too many times.

"Because I'm messed up Donna! I know it, you know it", Harvey angrily states as he drops her hands and the action makes them both increase the distance between them.

"You don't realise how I'm feeling Harvey!"

"Of course I do"

"No! You don't. Because when you shut me out and treated me how you did after I kissed you, it hurt me", Donna takes a shaky breath as more tears flow down her cheeks.

"Then the other night you go and do the same thing to me with no explanation. So what is it Harvey! You need to make up your mi-"

"It's because I'm in love with you!", he shouts.

Harvey's words knock the air out of Donna and she feels unsteady on her feet. Blinking a few times, she stares at the man in front of her. His glassy eyes and concerned gaze eyeing her intently.

"How?"

Harvey swallows thickly, the panic of a lifetime of hiding his emotions trapping him in this moment.

"In every way", he croaks.

Donna takes a moment to try and process what is taking place between them. This is an exchange that Donna has imagined, well dreamed of, for so long. But a lifetime of watching Harvey hide himself away from his heart, and his feelings, then Paula happened, she had officially given up on this fantasy.

There is something in his face tonight though. He seems present. Donna thinks that maybe, just maybe, he has found himself. But how does she fit into this.

"Harvey", Donna breathes, and the shakiness of her voice surprises her.

On hearing her voice, Harvey tentatively moves closer towards her. His footsteps are slow and cautious, as if she will recoil if he gets any closer. Donna remains where she is.

Harvey steps close enough to her, that she can see clearly the glassiness of his eyes and smell his aroma. The smell of scotch and cologne, that's so Harvey, that the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. Their eyes are locked, and Harvey searches for something, anything, that will give him the green light.

Neither of them know how long that they stand and simply stare at one-another. Donna slowly brings her hands up to find Harvey's. She takes them gently in her hands, as her fingers graze over his knuckles. Lingering over each one, all of them without a ring.

"It was a mistake", Harvey says and it's so soft and low that Donna only just hears it.

"And you're sure that I'm not?", she whispers.

Freeing his hand, Harvey gently places it on her cheek, and his thumb caresses the skin. Donna can feel the warmth of his breath on her face as he leans in closer, she darts her tongue across her lips sensing his next move.

"There you two are!", a voice shouts.

Startled, Harvey and Donna quickly retract from each other's touch, moving to stand away from one another. Louis' face instantly sports the regret that he has for barging in and interrupting whatever moment was happening.

Harvey clears his throat to try and clear the air. "Um, Louis- you okay?", he says as he watches Louis' eyes flick between the two of them suspiciously.

"Yeah, sorry. Robert was looking for you Harvey, and well you too Donna", Louis says. On seeing the expression on Donna's face he adds quickly, "About the merge! The firm's merger, which you two are part of".

"Just come find us", Louis smiles nervously before dashing out of the room.

If it wasn't such an intense moment that had been interrupted, Harvey and Donna would've laughed or made a joke about Louis, and his timing. Instead a silence settles around them, as they're once again left alone.

Avoiding Harvey's gaze, Donna shuffles slightly on her feet. "So. We better go and find Robert", she says as she begins heading for the doors into the main room of the wedding.

Just before she can set foot out of the door, she's suddenly pulled back and spun around. Only to meet Harvey's strong chest. Out of instinct, her hand steadies herself on him. She looks at him and before she can speak he closes the gap between them.

It takes a few moments for Donna to realise what is happening, but she soon relaxes into the kiss. The way that his lips move against hers spark something in Donna that she had often worried had been lost. His hands reach up to cup her jaw as her own feed through to around his neck. It's all consuming.

They kiss fiercely until they both need to come up for air. Gasping, their eyes lock and it feels like everything has fallen into place. Donna closes the gap between them this time. They move their lips in sync against one another and soon Harvey's tongue seeks permission which he runs alongside her own. Walking her backwards until she hits the wall, Harvey presses the front of his body into Donna, letting out a groan as he traps her between him and the steady backdrop behind.

Donna's hands begin running along his body, along his back, across his front and her fingers find comfort on the back of his neck. Harvey follows suit, letting his hands grip her hips before travelling behind and giving her bum a hard squeeze, and Donna sighs into the kiss. His lips soon travel across her shoulder and attach onto her neck, his teeth biting lightly, before his tongue smooths over the skin. Donna lets her head fall back against the wall as she lets his lips explore the exposed skin across her chest. Gasping as he grinds his hips against hers.

"Harvey", she pants, gripping hard on his shoulders.

Harvey brings his face up to meet hers again. Breathing heavily, he touches their foreheads together, and they both close their eyes. Donna flutters her eyes open, suddenly remembering where they are, but luckily they are alone.

She cups his face with her hands, almost to check that he is real and that this is happening.

"We need to get back out there", she says stroking his face gently as his thumbs rub circles in her hips.

Harvey leans in to capture her lips in a deep, longing kiss, almost starting everything back up again.

"You're not leaving without me tonight", he whispers lowly into her ear.

.

.

Donna felt in daze as she resubmerged from her and Harvey's moment alone into the wedding party. Not only had Harvey admitted his feelings to her, they had just had a steamy make-out session against a wall, finishing with the promise to leave together. Donna felt incredibly overwhelmed all of a sudden. Harvey had immediately met to find Robert, as requested by Louis. But as for Donna, she needed a moment.

She fed her way through the ballroom and the vast amount of people dancing and drinking. As she found a door leading outside, she pushed it open and let out a breath she didn't know that she was holding.

The cool air made her feel like she could breathe evenly again. Also, she was alone which was a bonus. The events of the past night, well week, swirled around in her brain as she tried to order them and make sense of what her life is like. If Donna were a smoker, this would be the perfect time for a cigarette, she thinks to herself.

Donna knew from far before she would care to admit how she felt about Harvey, he gradually became her everything before she had the chance to stop it. He consumed her in ways she had never known before by any man.

Now he was in front of her asking for everything. In another time this would not even take the consideration that Donna is allowing her brain to go through. But she can't help but think about how much has happened between them. Harvey got married. Not dated someone. He married someone, and to Donna that means something.

She knows of course, deep down she had that Donna inkling that this was not the right thing for Harvey to do, she told him directly that it was a mistake. She thinks that maybe she is underestimating the emotional turmoil that he has been under during all of this. However, more conflicting thoughts course through her, even if this was it for them, nobody could know. The firm already had the earful from Paula wrongly announcing that Donna was Harvey's mistress during their marriage. So if their relationship was to be public, it would confirm what people are already thinking, even though it's not true. Donna cannot deal with her career being linked to Harvey again, not in that way.

She takes another shaky breath. Closing her eyes, she remembers mere minutes ago when her and Harvey connected on that level that has been so close to the seams for so many years. Does that make it worth it, she asks herself. If her and Harvey are meant to be, the future is not something to worry and fixate over. The present is, and if taking each day as it comes is how they need to work through it. They will. Starting with tonight.

Okay, Donna thinks, time to enjoy her best friend's wedding, see that she gets a memorable send-off, and spend the night with Harvey.

.

.

"Donna", Harvey's voice whispers behind her.

"Harvey", she says back, and slowly turns around to meet his gaze.

They've both relaxed into the night, consuming alcohol and enjoying time with their friends. But now that it's come to an end, it seems to be just the two of them left, along with a few stragglers.

"You ready?", Harvey asks, and his voice has a softness to it, eyes searching hers. He wants to know that she's sure.

Donna swallows, but a smile creeps its way onto her face. "Yeah", she breathes, almost sounding relieved.

Harvey offers his hand out, and Donna gladly takes it, their fingers intertwining.

As soon as they pass the threshold into Harvey's condo, Donna finds herself pushed up against the door and Harvey's lips on hers. Like their kiss earlier, they cannot get enough of one another.

When two people come together and their passion is unlocked, years in the making, it is enough to make them dizzy.

Donna grips onto Harvey's shoulders for dear life as he breaks the kiss and attaches his lips to her neck and along the exposed areas of her chest. Threading her fingers through his hair, she lifts his head up to meet her lips once again, missing the connection they have when their lips move against one another. Harvey's tongue seeks dominance in her mouth as they dance together, his wandering hands taking place on her bum, giving it a firm squeeze eliciting a muffled groan from Donna.

Donna can feel his hardness against her leg as he presses himself into her. When they eventually break the kiss to gasp for air, a moment passes whilst they merely stare into one another's eyes. The intensity is almost too much for Donna to handle and she touches his face, checking that this is reality.

"Take me to bed Harvey", she whispers breathlessly.

Reluctantly breaking their physical contact, Donna leads the way to his bedroom, turning to look over her shoulder at him with a teasing smirk.

She stands in front of his bed. It's not long before she can feel Harvey behind her, his hot breath against her neck as he attaches his lips again to her neck on the exposed side where her hair doesn't fall. His hands travel from her hips to the front of her silky dress, going slowly up her stomach and finally settling on her breasts. He gently palms them while his thumbs tease her nipples through the material. Letting out a sigh of pleasure, Donna drops her head back against him, giving his face more access to her skin.

Harvey's hands then come up to take down the thin straps of Donna's dress. The dress falls off of her body, pooling at her feet and leaving her in just a pair of black lace underwear. He mumbles an "amazing", into the skin of her neck.

She turns around eyeing a fully clothed Harvey. "You have too many clothes on", she smirks.

Her hands reach up to push his jacket off of his shoulders, and then they make work of his tie. Slinging both of them onto the floor, along with her dress. Impatient, Harvey meets her lips in a kiss again. Donna's hand reaches down in between them, cupping his need in her hands, "Donna", he groans against her lips, and her name on his lips sends a shiver down her spine.

It's not long before they've messily removed his shirt, button by button and eventually his pants, leaving him clad in his boxers. Donna resumes the kiss, now being able to feel her way around his body without any clothing barriers. Harvey leads her backwards until her legs hit the edge of the bed and she falls back, meeting the softness of the mattress and duvet.

Still standing at the edge of the bed, Harvey grips her hips and pulls her closer to him. He reaches up, taking her lacy underwear in both hands and pulls them down her legs until she's left naked beneath him. Donna breathes heavily as he painstakingly spreads her legs open. Finally, his tongue darts to where she needs him and she lets out a loud moan, causing Harvey to chuckle. Harvey seems to know exactly what she needs, and it isn't long before she's coming apart, an earth-shattering orgasm coursing through her body as she calls out Harvey's name loud.

As Donna recovers, Harvey kicks off his boxers, finally freeing his hard length. He climbs on top of Donna and she catches his lips in a deep, longing kiss. Her hand sneaks down between them to stroke him several times, whilst he groans in her ear. "Just fuck me already", she pants, her arousal calling out again.

That's all it takes and Harvey pushes himself inside her. Donna gasps whilst Harvey moans. He stills for a second allowing her to adjust to the size. But his need is soon too much to handle, and he begins moving, slowly thrusting up into her.

"Harvey", she moans, threading her fingers through his hair.

Harvey, overcome by pleasure speeds up his thrusts, hitting deeper and earning louder moans from Donna. The sound of her voice calling out as he fucks her, is enough to make him come alone. He touches their sweaty foreheads together, wanting to be as close as physically possible.

Her hand reaches out to grab and squeeze his bum. "Fuck Donna", he moans. She's panting and moaning unashamedly as he works their bodies together.

It's not long before Harvey feels the familiar coil begin to build in his stomach. "I'm not gonna last", he groans, wanting to savour every moment.

"Let go Harvey", Donna pants.

His thrusts become erratic, and Donna is almost there too. He sneaks a hand between them to rub against her bundle of nerves. As their moans become more desperate, they grip harder onto one another, messily kissing. Eventually Harvey groans Donna's name loudly as he spills inside of her. Donna follows a second later with another earth-shattering orgasm and Harvey's name on her lips.

Harvey collapses down on top of Donna, their sweaty bodies and heavy breathing combining together. He presses his lips against her collarbone. "That was amazing".

After a few moments, he lifts his body off of Donna, and removes himself from inside her before dropping at the side on his back. Immediately missing the contact, he rolls over and pulls her body into his side.

"You okay?", he mumbles into her hair.

Embracing the warmth of his body around hers, Donna replies "Yeah, I just can't believe that we're here".

His arms automatically tighten around her. A lifetime of regret flashing before him, of all the years that they have wasted not being together. Especially these last weeks.

"I'm sorry Donna. For everything"

"Please. Let's just stay like this for now. We can talk later", she mumbles already feeling herself drifting off into a slumber.

Whilst enjoying their current position, Donna turns her head the best she can and Harvey when noticing, leans in to place a longing kiss on her lips. She resumes her position, and sighs with content. With Harvey's arms firmly around her body and them both in a post-coital haze, she thinks that this may be everything that she has ever wanted.

Harvey cannot come to terms with the fact that Donna is in his bed with him like this. He has been with a lot of women, but nothing has felt as right as this does now. His eyes have been opened and he never wants to lose sight of what is right in front of him again. He knows that there is a lot to come, and lots that he needs to get in order, but Donna, she is one thing that he wants to keep like this.

"So, I'm guessing you did feel something when you kissed me then?", Harvey mumbles tiredly.

A deep, throaty chuckle vibrates through Donna's body at this and Harvey's heart swells at the sound. A lazy smirk appears on his tired face as he feels finally content enough to succumb to sleep.

"You can wipe the smirk I know you have off your face too, mister".

.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Read and review!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, all reviews are welcome!


End file.
